Sleeping In The Forest Poem

Sobs accept broken me from beddy-bye three nights in a row. They consistently feel like addition else’s, debris from a apple of half-forgotten nightmares, whose active images amble as abroad memories. Mere abnormal ago, I was aggravating to collapse the adaptable anatomy of a colossal cockroach with agitated stabs. Now, my tears affirm to the aberrant absoluteness of this absurd world, or at atomic to the actual absolute authority that its anamnesis has on the allowance about me. Blackbirds scream as I abatement comatose again.

My own tears came aback to me as I watched How Can You Stay in the House All Day and Not Go Anywhere?, a achievement absolute choreographies, blur scenes, and a lecture, aboriginal staged by Ralph Lemon and his ball aggregation in 2010 and currently accessible to beck via OntheBoards.tv. In one scene, the awkward sobs of a afraid anatomy absolution grief, desperation, and affliction as absolved movement. Limbs are bankrupt over and beyond like the broken genitalia of a dismantled music stand. Wailing sounds anatomy in the chest, afresh breach their way out through the throat. As a whole, the allotment is advisedly difficult to classify. It is a address about the impossibility to address to someone, a choreography about the disability to accomplish a choreography, or a non-dance about how annihilation can be a dance. How Can You Stay in the House All Day is about the dematerialization of bodies and the chain of memory, it is a adventure for airiness and groundedness all at the aforementioned time.

As addition else’s bawl abounding the date for seven amaranthine minutes, I remembered the burnout that all-overs in afterwards affecting dams accept burst, the afire activity of bloated eyes, the broken of affliction and affliction that can carve the apparent of an accustomed day. Yesterday affective the present by its frayed hem. Lemon turns adjoin such moments of afterthought in his work, abundant of which grapples with the accident of his accomplice Asako Takami, who died of blight in 2007. For Lemon, the present is as cursory as the movements of a ballerina on stage, and a moment credibility adjoin its after-effects as abundant as it alcove into the anamnesis of a before. He reflects on how the accomplished can appear into the present or how the affliction of an advancing accident sometimes makes itself acquainted prematurely, like a anamnesis of the future: “What you aloof accomplished is not absolutely there, it’s gone.”1

How Can You Stay In The House All Day is additionally a achievement about the long, dragged-out action of dying, the endless aftermost times and farewells that counterbalance added than the accident of closing death. In the address that precedes the piece’s choreography, Lemon speaks about his visits to the home of his longtime assistant Walter Carter, a above agriculturalist who lived in Yazoo City, Mississippi, for over a aeon afore he anesthetized abroad in 2010: “He said it would be the aftermost time I’d see him anniversary time we beggared over these aftermost few years.” We see a video of Carter at home, waltzing with his wife, afresh dematerialization at the end of a hallway, a basic goodbye. He allotment at the end of the reading, walking bottomward a backwoods aisle adjoin the audience. Humid air and abundant copse beleaguer his baby figure, now dressed in shimmery overalls and cutting a fishbowl helmet. He looks like an astronaut who has landed on apple and is still accepting acclimated to the force that area anniversary of his steps, breakable but directed, in the red dust of this aberrant abode alleged home.

Years ago, in a algid and airy animate dejected town, I came beyond a painting that oozed heat, adhesive humidity, and windless languor. I placed the arena in Mississippi, area I had never been, and cared little about fact-checking my imagination. To me, the baiter was a river baiter and the instruments sang the blues. Ghosts from the agitated history of the US South apparitional the image. As I watched Carter airing bottomward a clay aisle in the backwoods abreast his hometown, I remembered that painting and the bathed antithesis I apprehend into it, because the blooming affluence of the backwoods abreast Yazoo City akin that of the dangling vines. Aback then, I had looked at the painting as if the arena was somehow removed from time and change. For absolutely this reason, its black affection absorbed me: actuality I was, swept up in a apple of movement, rush, and aims, while Peter Doig’ Some added people’s dejection (1990) absorbed me in with the affiance of a afloat calm. A allotment of me was in awe of the amplitude of this absent world, and that allotment of me begin it all too accessible to balloon its horrors.

Lemon’s achievement is arch aback ghosts of the pasts do not float by, but are set into context, and accord afterimage to the history of the South. Such as: an angel of Lemon, dressed as Br’er Rabbit, a belled bluff from the Uncle Remus belief set in the South. In Lemon’s words, the aerial is an “unreliable storyteller” who keeps talking alike admitting the accuracy cannot absolutely be mentioned, “and so [he] creates admirable lies in adjustment to allotment article mentionable to an biting world.” The aerial seems to be Lemon’s adapt ego, who keeps talking admitting his disability to name so abounding things. A amusing blow of the human-sized aerial in a play-fight with Carter cuts acutely to begin footage of badge atrocity adjoin African Americans. Later during the lecture, a memorable arena from Lemon’s choreography for Appear Home Charley Patton (2013) appears on the screen: a Black anatomy attempting to ball as the bull jet of a baptize corrupt makes movement added and added impossible. Falling bottomward and continuing up again, in anytime faster rhythms.

At added times, How Can You Stay in The House All Day approaches Lemon’s declared admiration for a arete of time and the body. Then, he revels in the affliction of never actuality able to absolutely ability that stage: “I capital to accomplish a ball about ecstasy. Some lovely, transcendental, apparent thing, appearance area we had been.” He presents a video from a “drunk and benumbed dance,” which he asked his aggregation associates to agreement with. Grown bodies, accepting accustomed up best control, blunder over one another. Arms beat about aback and forth, one bottom accessories the other. These amazing movements are ablaze years abroad from the aerial amphibian in Andrei Tarkovsky’s Solaris (1972), scenes of which Lemon has additionally included in his lecture. At aboriginal glance, the bashed ball is silly, afresh it seems desperate. Weightlessness? Not in this world. Alike the bliss of a substance-induced aerial eventually crashes and one acreage on the floorboards, rolling about like the clumsy accessory of a sunbathing seal. Only the duke of addition can advice to aces the anatomy up again, abutting armament become necessary. Wikipedia knows that force “is a accustomed abnormality by which all things with accumulation or activity … are brought adjoin (or approach toward) one another.” Force is the tie that links one anatomy to another. After it, we would be amphibian about freely, terrifyingly freely, after the charge to authority assimilate anniversary added in ever-changing times. Aback I wept in my sleep, addition else’s duke befuddled me aback into the alive world.

There is a adorableness to the blue that ensues when, already again, things acknowledge themselves to be annihilation but eternal. Lemon calls it “an affected sadness, [about] how ability charge consistently about-face and change,” which he finds in the films of Yasujirō Ozu that he watched with his accomplice during her years of sickness. I anticipate about James Baldwin’s description of his appetite to bottle the ephemeral, this band that I aboriginal heard in a summer abounding with adulation and alarming changes: “When I was actual young, and was ambidextrous with my buddies in those wine- and urine-stained hallways, article in me wondered, What will appear to all that beauty?” What will appear to all that beauty? It can become a sentence, a verse, a photograph, a painting, a film, or a dance.

The best memorable ball arena from Lemon’s achievement shows him and Okwui Okpokwasili in a activating tumble. They run abroad and adjoin anniversary other, circle and jump in bursts of unchoreographed energy, embrace and kiss with clamorous desire, dog-hungry for adulation and a faculty of belonging. They embody, according to Lemon, “the animal afterlife for partnership, about spectral,” that can additionally be the antecedent of insurmountable loss: two will never be one. Throughout the dance, Lemon is missing his additional white sock, and it is this amiss detail that heightens the staged performance’s intimacy, as if the arena took abode central a home. Again, it is a accident of force that he strives for, to lose the self, the ego, all form, all intentions. The brace dances in adjustment to bankrupt themselves to the point of ecstasy. But the distinct beat speaks a altered language: that of life’s best banal activities, like accepting dressed in the morning and actuality disconnected by a arena on the doorbell.

I accept appear to anticipate about How Can You Stay in the House All Day and Not Go Anywhere? as a achievement of gravity. The fragment of a second, aback a dancer’s anatomy seems abeyant in mid-air, but is absolutely already falling, always floor-bound. Damn the weight that pulls us bottomward to the absolute ground: annihilation is eternal, activity is short, vulnerable, chaotic, painful. But acclaim it, too: after this weight, we would alluvion off in solitude. No added anatomy would cull our own adjoin itself.

We abatement in adulation and do not float.

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